• justsomegirl


Updated: May 6, 2020

Ever since that Kanye song about a heartless girl, that, well, left him so cold, the use of the idea of a cold-hearted bitch (or bastard) has been a common theme that ex’s like to throw around at the end of their ‘relationship’.

During the last few months, I’ve been investigating self-growth. Such as learning to cook, going jogging and waking up early to practice meditating and yoga (Yup I am one of those people now). While researching how to grow as a person, one of the persuasive themes in these ted talks, podcasts, and hundreds of pages of helpful nonsense, was the idea to stand up for yourself by being true to who you are.

Now recently a friend of mine has had an issue with the men in her life, as he feels one way for her, but she doesn't reciprocate it. She finds herself craving the space and freedom of independence.

Now she does not want to seem heartless, and hurt him but still wants to be true to herself. See, she is so scared of being heartless towards him that she would rather pretend to feel the same. Which obviously, ends up hurting her and him in the process, creating an even bigger mess than before. Although I found this slightly amusing, as for the first time, it was my poor friend complaining to me, on the phone, about this situation, not the other way around, while I enjoy the new found peace in my life. It did get me questioning though, where the line is between being true to yourself and being heartless lies?

We have all been mean at times, even daily, and that's all right, its okay to be in a bad mood at times, but were the limit? I have an issue with rude people, I just find it hard to comprehend their actions at times, however, even though I try to avoid it, I am still sometimes rude, obviously as I am human, and we contrary to certain beliefs are not perfect.

See that's the issue in a way, we all have different beliefs systems on what's acceptable and what's not, which is beautiful but at the same time irritating as it can cause tension if one does not see eye to eye… So again where is the line between being yourself and being rude or heartless? Is anyone really sure what heartless is?

Let's say you dump your boyfriend/girlfriend over text, now for them that can be seen as heartless right? But for you, you're just too nervous to do it face to face and know there's a chance you'll chicken out, or worse faint or throw up (it happens…). So is this heartless, or just a good level of self-awareness?

If you have an unhealthy friendship, and just slowly cut them out of your life, never really giving them an honest explanation, because you know it will cause them more grievances, is that cruel or kind? If someone tells you something, and you find it no big deal and tell someone else, even though the person that told you felt that it was life-shattering, is this being two-faced or just a little less aware?

Where do you draw the line between being downright cold hearted and just being you? Can you draw a line? And is it okay at times to be heartless, if it means protecting your heart?