• justsomegirl

Baggage and Love?

Updated: May 6, 2020

Do you ever feel unlovable? After three failed relationships, way too many long lost crushes and wasted friendships. And I'm still here, alone, with a glass of wine, my two best friends and all the solitude one person can take, okay maybe a little Tv to keep me company. I'm left pondering whether I'm to blame for my failed relationships.

Naturally, like every person out there, I have flaws. Many. Sometimes too many to even keep track of, but yet, I feel as if my flaws are larger, more detrimental then anyone else's, and yes, I realize the narcissism in that, but I do wonder, is it my fault? 

I know some of them. For example, the people I pick. You see, I have terrible taste in people, worse than my fashion choices, which, for those who know me, slowly consist of three outfits. Okay maybe four, but still, I always somehow find the most broken and off-limit people to fall for and then blame them when I'm left hurting.

These relationships caused me like many people to have baggage, not much but enough that maybe my problems are the cause for my failing relationships.

So this brings me to my question. At first, I thought it's them. It must be them, right? I mean, they are the ones who lied or hurt me? And yet, if I look at the turn of events before, or the baggage that caused me to act a certain way, it makes me question if maybe it's me? 

I know there are girls out there right now that are nodding their heads. I mean, we've all seen those movies where the girl drinks champagne, with wet

eyes and running mascara, crying to her friends asking them: "is it me?". But really, is it you? Are two people always to blame in fights or maybe is it just that all those flaws that you haven't worked through?

One of my good friends does not believe in relationships, at all, she has been around the block and decided that it will only end in heartbreak so doesn't even try. Could she be right? I hate to admit these because I am a true believer in romance and that two people if they love each other can work through all those issues but maybe she's right. Maybe we should all just wait till we are 30 and have somewhat more of our life together to try dating. Because then maybe our baggage will be less intense and we will have a better shot at romance.

However, can two people really leave the past in the past, and is it possible that baggage can be a good thing instead of something negative? Or is my friend right should we just wait a little longer until we have dealt with our baggage and are ready to really give romance a shot without the past playing a part? What do you think causes a relationship to fail is it baggage or is it you?