• justsomegirl

Are Relationships Just a Game?

Updated: May 6, 2020

We grow up playing games from twister to candy crush, to tag or jump rope, so naturally that after all these years of playing, that we have taken the act of games into our adult life. Is it possible that it has manifested from harmless amusements to now just playing games in our relationships? After many relationships there’s always one thing that I have never understood, the "how long do I wait to text him? Or do I him back?". I don’t do that yet recently I’ve been more aware of refraining from texting this guy in order to not seem needy.

This age-old war between men and women of the ‘I’ll call you’ game has been an ongoing since the telephone and casual sex began, I would even bet that the game of the first move has been going on long before that, with letters and an eye glance.

So why is the simple move of making the first move so difficult? Some of my friends as if mimicking the ridiculous instagram posts ( you know the ones) will wait double the time it took the guy to answer, now I don’t understand how they have that much free time to think about such things, but they do. My question is what is the point? Does that not just foreshadow the rest of the relationship.

I once herd some great advice 'if he liked you, you would know, if he doesn't you will be confused'.

It’s not only at the start of the relationships where games seem to be at play but also when it comes to the first milestone of ‘I love you’. That sentence, in my opinion, is one of the most terrifying things to be said on the planet besides ‘we’ve run out of ice cream’ or ‘the show was cancelled’. It’s common knowledge that the person who says it first is more into the other one, and I as a ‘too nice for my own good’ type find the idea of not knowing what to say back the worst fear of all. If it just slips, if you feel that nauseating sensation rise up in your chest like a billion butterflies attempting to escape or even when you are 10 tequila shots down and the guy in front of you looks like prince charming in cargo shorts that is one thing, but if you are planning it out, waiting for him to say it or just using it to gain their trust is that not more of a warning sign then a wedding one?

But that’s not the point we play games at the beginning middle and end of the relationship really, always trying to get the other to do something, or not wanting to really accept the fact that someone has such power over you. So playing coy, pretending to not care, and then getting upset that your significant other hasn’t reciprocated it is the best way to work in a relationship? what if it is really just damaging relationships more?

Is the idea of the relationship being a game so popular now that it’s become a game, but then why has it been going on since before Instagram? Is it to see who has more powers over who, and who is dominant or not? Does this do more harm than good? Or is it keeping us interested? Is it exciting us like a good game of twister did when we were kids? Maybe we are just trying to race to the finish line without actually taking a second to enjoy the journey? Would being honest be better? Or are we doomed to continue repeating the game of love?